Help for Family Members

Millions of Americans abuse or are addicted to alcohol or other drugs. All of those individuals have families and friends who care about them. Whether your family member is dependent on alcohol, cocaine, heroin, marijuana, prescription medications, or other drugs, his or her addiction affects you and your family, too.

The Addiction Resource Council recognizes that living with or caring about someone who has an alcohol or other drug abuse problem can be painful and frustrating, especially if the person with the problem won’t seek help for his/her substance abuse. We are here to help.

We encourage you to begin by taking our self-test. In addition, for more information on how to intervene with a loved one’s substance abuse/addiction, contact us at 262-524-7921 to schedule a free, confidential assessment with one of our substance abuse professionals to discuss what options exist to help you and your loved one or to find similar resources in your local community. Remember that you are not alone. There is hope for recovery for both you and your loved one.

You may also find the following resources helpful:

• Robert J. Meyers, Ph.D. - Books
• Publications on Family & Friends
• Al-anon and Alteen

Help for Parents

Substance abuse is a major public health problem that puts millions of adolescents at increased risk for alcohol- and drug-related traffic accidents, risky sexual practices, poor academic performance, juvenile delinquency, and developmental problems.

You are in a unique position to prevent substance abuse or to identify and get education and/or treatment for your teenage child who might be using alcohol or other drugs. Be aware that any child regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, religion, or socioeconomic background can develop a substance abuse problem. By paying attention to your children and knowing the facts, you will be better able to recognize substance abuse problems and take action. Here are some facts parents should know:

• Adolescent substance abuse can start early. The average age for young people to start using tobacco is 12. The average age they start drinking alcohol is shortly before their 13th birthday. And the average age for young people to start smoking marijuana is 14.

• Young people who start drinking alcohol before age 15 are four times more likely to develop an alcohol abuse disorder later on in life than someone who delays the start of drinking until age 21.

• Even elementary-age children feel pressure to drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, use illicit drugs, and “huff” inhalants. Approximately 40 percent of 4th, 5th, and 6th graders admit that they would drink alcohol or use crack/cocaine just to fit in or feel older.

• Parents make a difference in their children’s choices about alcohol and other drugs. More than 42 percent of teens that have never used marijuana say their parents play an important part in their decision not to use marijuana.

Dealing with substance abuse problems in young people is an important part of parenting today. The good news is help is available. Teenagers can and do get off drugs. Here are some steps that parents can take.

• Teach your child that abstinence from alcohol is an acceptable lifelong decision and that they have a right to stand up for a safe academic environment.

• Teach your child that drinking can be risky and to intervene when they see that their classmates are in trouble.

• Know your family’s history of alcohol and drug abuse, and talk to your children about it.

• Talk to your children about the dangers of substance abuse. Find out what they already know and think about drugs and alcohol. Be a good listener, and be honest if your teenager asks whether you have used drugs.

• Learn more about specific drugs. Especially alcohol, marijuana, steroids, club drugs, and inhalants. Be able to recognize the paraphernalia associated with drug use. The more you know, the better equipped you are to determine if your teen is abusing alcohol or other drugs.

• Learn to recognize the potential warning signs of substance abuse, such as changes in sleeping, eating, or grooming habits; hypersensitivity or temper tantrums; unexplained weight loss or gain; red or watery eyes; shaking of the hands, feet, or legs; frequent nausea or vomiting; excessive sweating; a drop in grades at school; skipping school; loss of interest in family activities previously enjoyed; an “I don’t care” attitude; excessive need for privacy or secrecy; or an unexplained need for money or even stealing money. If you see these behaviors, get help.

• If you think your child is using alcohol or other drugs, don’t let the stigma associated with substance abuse delay your decision to get help. Contact the Addiction Resource Council at 262-524-7921 to get information about services in your community or call your health care professional for an evaluation to determine if your child has a substance abuse problem. Together, you can decide what to do next.

• Create an informal network by talking to the parents of your children’s friends and discussing concerns you may have about possible or definite substance abuse.

• If your child is of legal age to drink (21 in all states), explain to them how to use alcohol moderately (no more than two drinks per day for men, no more than one for women) and appropriately (as a complement to a meal and at social gatherings or during family celebrations).

• If you drink, be sure to set an ongoing healthy example regarding adult alcohol use and never brag about your use of alcohol or other drugs during your own college years. If you think you may have a problem with alcohol, prescription drugs, or illicit drugs, get help immediately. Set a good example by not using illicit drugs and responsible using alcohol. Teach your child or teenager that it is okay to get help, and give young people a clear message about alcohol and drug use.

• When helping your children to select an appropriate college, be willing to question officials about campus alcohol policies. The Best Colleges, an annual guide published by the Princeton Review, groups schools by categories ("Lots of beer," "Lots of hard liquor," "Major frat and sorority scene" and "Stone-cold sober schools" that provide useful information.

• When your children go to college, set clear and realistic expectations regarding academic performance, and continue to be as interested and involved in their lives as you were when they were in high school.

If you are interested in additional information, please contact the Addiction Resource Council at 262-524-7921. We care about you and your children and want to be available to help. Together, we can make a difference.

Here are some additional resources that you might find useful:

• Teen substance abuse, children's mental health, Family Guide
• Center on Alcohol Marketing and Youth
• Underage drinking, prevention, alcohol, Too Smart to Start
• UW-Madison: University Health Services
• The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence